Dr. Paula Fellingham (“The Joy Lady”)
It’s that time of year again, and Moms are feelings overwhelmed. Christmas trees need to be bought and trimmed; homes need to be decorated; presents need to be purchased and wrapped; school plays, musical concerts and company parties consume our evenings. The list goes on and on....this is a busy time of year! In their efforts to be “perfect moms” some women simply dread Christmas, with its worries and work. I’d like to suggest that moms CAN “do it all!” Do you agree?
It’s a sort of a trick question, but yes, I believe Moms CAN “do it all” at Christmas... all that they CHOOSE to do.
The secret is to choose to do what you want to do, and don’t even try to do the things you don’t like. Ask yourself, “What do I enjoy doing?” Instead of reacting to everyone’s expectations, be in control and choose.
Continue reading "Is Christmas Overwhelming?" »
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Mom dreaded the hour before six year-old Ashley got on the school bus each morning. Which outfit Ashley would wear to school was the subject of a heated debate between mother and daughter, every day.
Ashley was extremely opinionated and clothes-conscious. Her outfit was of utmost importance to her and it seemed to Mom that instead of outgrowing this fanaticism about clothes, Ashley’s clothes fetish was getting worse as she got older.
Moms - can you relate to this? Have you ever had to deal with it? What do you do?
Continue reading "Does Your Child Have a Clothes Fetish?" »
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Parenting Solutions by Dr. Paula (“The Joy Lady”)
Mom was driving 12 year-old Jennifer and two of her friends to a school play. As they drove along Mom commented on some current sports competition in Australia. She said, “Did you girls hear that the United States Girl’s Softball Team won the Gold Medal in Australia?”
Jennifer immediately contradicted her saying, “No, Mom, you’re wrong! The team from China won the gold medal.” Mom knew Jennifer was wrong and she was right.
What’s one good way for Mom to handle Jennifer’s remark?
Continue reading "How Do You Handle Contradictory Children?" »
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Thirteen-year old Marie was busy studying her math. She was trying hard to figure out the homework problems by herself, but her body language told Mom that Marie was having trouble. She was shifting dramatically in her chair, shaking her head, and sighing heavily.
All of a sudden Marie exclaimed, “I’m just NO GOOD in math! I’ll NEVER understand this stuff!” And she slammed her book shut.
Mom, what would you say to Marie?
Continue reading "Do Your Children Have Negative Self-talk?" »
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Parenting Solutions by Dr. Paula (“The Joy Lady”)
Mom walked in the room and overheard her children talking about Christmas. What she heard made her very disappointed. The children could only think about the gifts that they were going to GET for Christmas. Not a word was said about what they would GIVE.
How can we help our children learn to be unselfish; to be "others-centered", especially at Christmas?
Here are six ways parents can help their children be “others-centered” instead of “self-centered” at Christmas and throughout the year:
Continue reading "How to Make Christmas More Meaniful" »
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Michael was seventeen years old. When he wasn’t in school he was either playing basketball or working at the local car parts store. He enjoyed his job but he worked with men who didn’t share his beliefs or standards. In the store they played hard rock music filled with filthy language and references to sex. It wasn’t long before Mike was buying the CDs of the groups he listened to at work.
If Michael was your son, what would you do?
The facts are indisputable. More and more, people are accepting trashy lyrics, immodest clothing and pre-marital sex. What a challenge it is to help our children internalize moral values!
Continue reading "Is Your Teenager’s Music a Problem?" »
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Parenting Solutions by Dr. Paula Fellingham (“The Joy Lady”)
Judy is the mother of 14-month old Nathan. He’s a sweet baby and her relationship with her husband is good. They live modestly but have all they need. Judy knows she should be very happy....she should be satisfied with her life....but she just isn’t.
The problem is - Judy feels like she has no life. Prior to motherhood she was a successful businesswoman. Although she chose to stay home and be a full-time mom, her days are long and boring. Judy feels anxious much of the time - restless - and sometimes even resentful of “giving up her life” as it seems to her.
What’s a solution for this problem?
Continue reading "Unhappy Mom?" »
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Marcie and Rick were newlyweds. They had only been married 7 months and now it was Christmastime. One evening during dinner Rick said, “I’d like you to begin thinking about all the places we can carol on Christmas Eve. Marcie was astonished and replied, “Caroling on Christmas Eve? You’ve got to be kidding! I don’t want to do that! I want to stay home and make the special Christmas pie my mother always served fresh each Christmas Eve after Dad read from the Bible.”
Coming from two separate families, Marcie and Rick had very different Christmas traditions. What’s the solution?
This young couple needs to sit down together and talk about Christmas traditions. To avoid misunderstandings and disappointment Marcie and Rick could make a list of both families’ traditions and decide which ones they want to continue. Then they should discuss possible traditions they’d like to begin. Newlyweds, starting their own families, have a wonderful opportunity to create traditions of their own.
Here are some ideas:
Continue reading "Christmas Solutions for Newlyweds" »
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Mom was worn out. She had four active children who were normal kids - obedient most of the time - but way more concerned about playing and being with their friends than doing their chores after school. It seems like every day is the same: Mom has to remind her children over and over again to do their after-school chores and their homework. Parents, what’s an alternative for nagging?
This is such a common parenting challenge. What are alternatives for nagging?
Here’s one “magical” solution:
Continue reading "What’s an Alternative for Nagging?" »
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Parenting Solutions by Dr. Paula (“The Joy Lady”)
www.CheerfulNoise.com
Nine year old Scott came home from school yelling, “Matthew hit me!!”
Dad put down his paper, turned in his chair and gave Scott his undivided
attention. Dad didn’t ask “WHY” - which is really good - he listened
reflectively. This means that he just confirmed to Scott what he heard. Dad
said, “Matthew hit you?”
Then Scott said, “Yea, and then I hit him back really hard ‘cuz he made me so
angry! I gave him a bloody nose! But he hit ME first!” Mom, if you were
parenting Scott, what would you say next?
Scott already knows, in his heart, that hitting is wrong - no matter if the boy did hit him first. Scott has been taught this long before now. If I were parenting Scott, I’d use a creative teaching method here.
I would tell him a story, like this:
Continue reading "What Do You Do About Hitting?" »
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I recently returned from presenting 48 seminars in 32 cities across America. I learned that most women have very similar challenges in their lives. I dedicate my blog entries to all women who want to live more joyful lives and need some assistance and solutions… women who want to make positive changes in their personal lives and as mothers. In my blogs I address the most frequently-asked questions I receive at seminars and from webinars and emails. Here’s one:
Question: What should you do when you make mistakes as a Mom?
Here’s the scenario:
Thirteen year old Janet came in from school with a long tale of what went wrong that day. Mom was exhausted from being up most of the night with Janet’s sick brother, and Mom had also put in her regular part-time day working at the hospital. Additionally, she was in a bad mood because of problems at work. Mom didn’t want to listen to Janet go on and on. In exasperation Mom said, “Janet, give it a rest. Your problems are so insignificant, you have no idea how much I don’t care.” Janet stared at her in disbelief, then ran to her room, crying. Immediately Mom knew she had blown it, and she felt like a lousy Mom. But she just didn’t have it in her to go after Janet and apologize.
What’s the solution?
Continue reading "What Should You Do When You Make Mistakes as a Mom?" »
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I recently returned from presenting 48 seminars in 32 cities across America. I learned that most women have very similar challenges in their lives. I dedicate my blog entries to all women who want to live more joyful lives and need some assistance and solutions… women who want to make positive changes in their personal lives and as mothers. In my blogs I address the most frequently-asked questions I receive at seminars and from webinars and emails. Here’s one:
Question: How should I handle children who sulk and give Mom the silent treatment when they’re disciplined?
Here’s a typical scenario with a seven year-old by named Matthew:
Matthew was having a wonderful time outside with his friend Joey. They were
riding their bikes and seeing who could pedal the fastest.
Continue reading "How Should I Handle Children Who Sulk?" »
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I recently returned from presenting 48 seminars in 32 cities across America. I learned that most women have very similar challenges in their lives. I dedicate my blog entries to all women who want to live more joyful lives and need some assistance and solutions… women who want to make positive changes in their personal lives and as mothers. In my blogs I address the most frequently-asked questions I receive at seminars and from webinars and emails. Here’s one:
Question: What can parents do to help children like each other - let alone love each other?