I recently returned from presenting 48 seminars in 32 cities across America. I learned that most women have very similar challenges in their lives. I dedicate my blog entries to all women who want to live more joyful lives and need some assistance and solutions… women who want to make positive changes in their personal lives and as mothers. In my blogs I address the most frequently-asked questions I receive at seminars and from webinars and emails. Here’s one:
Question: What can parents do to help children like each other - let alone love each other?
Here’s the scenario:
Siblings twelve-year-old Janet and ten-year-old Mark were at it again. Mom could hear them fighting outside. “You always have to have your own way, don’t you?” Mark yelled. Janet screamed back, “Yeah, I do because you’re so stupid you can’t even do it!” Mom didn’t have any idea what they were quarreling about, she just felt heartsick when she heard them going at it, again.
Answer:
As children grow up, the people they have the most slumber parties with, share
vacations with, and spend the most time with are their siblings... and they
don’t even choose them! It’s true that sometimes brothers and sisters have very
different personalities. They don’t like the same things and they think very
differently. But they’re in the same family, and often their differences, and
the way they handle their differences, causes challenges and creates contention.
Here are 3 solutions:
1. Since we love the people we serve, create many opportunities in the home where children serve one another. For example, when my four daughters were growing up I didn’t ever learn how to French braid their hair... on purpose. Of course I could have figured it out, but my daughters knew how to French braid, so they went to one another to have their hair done. They were dependent on one another. It was during the hair-fixing time each morning that they had some of their best ‘sister’ discussions. There are myriads of opportunities to create situations where children serve one another.
2. Since we enjoy being around people who like what we like - who share our same interests - create something that you all do together, as a family. Fun times are shared and happy memories made when families work together on projects like creating a family band, building a canoe, or taking karate lessons. The idea is to do something together that you all enjoy.
3. Take every opportunity to help children bond with one another. You can do this by setting up situations where they do things together. For example, with Janet and Mark - the quarreling siblings in the scenario above - I would create opportunities for them to serve a neighbor. Have them go to an elderly neighbor and offer to paint his fence, or mow his lawn. Working and serving others brings many blessings, not the least of which is increased love for others. Service helps children grow generous hearts.
Visit www.CheerfulNoise.com (launching Dec. 1, 2007) for more Parenting Tips by Dr. Paula Fellingham, The Stay-at-Home Mom Expert who “Helps Women Live More Joyfully”
Helping Women Live Joyful Lives,
Paula Fellingham
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