Mom dreaded the hour before six year-old Ashley got on the school bus each morning. Which outfit Ashley would wear to school was the subject of a heated debate between mother and daughter, every day.
Ashley was extremely opinionated and clothes-conscious. Her outfit was of utmost importance to her and it seemed to Mom that instead of outgrowing this fanaticism about clothes, Ashley’s clothes fetish was getting worse as she got older.
Moms - can you relate to this? Have you ever had to deal with it? What do you do?
Mom needs to be kind, firm and consistent with Ashley.
This is a solution: Mom can avoid her morning nightmare with Ashley by addressing the issue the night before then holding firm in the decision that was made.
Before Ashley goes to bed each night she may choose from three outfits that Mom lays out. This way, Mom has input and control, but Ashley makes the final decision.
You may wonder why Ashley isn’t allowed to just choose her own clothes. Often six year-olds don’t choose outfits that comply with the weather. They may want to wear frilly little dresses in sub-freezing weather. Or they may want to wear a fancy dress on the day their class takes a field trip to the pumpkin patch. There is nothing wrong with discussing outfits together, if that works for you, and deciding on appropriate clothes together.
When raising my children I narrowed the choices down to two or three options from which my daughters chose. And doing it the night before eliminates part of the morning stress; always a good plan.
I have learned that giving choices, while maintaining control, is one of the effective tools for parenting young children. Ask questions like, “Would you like peas or green beans tonight for your dinner vegetable?” Or, “It’s cold outside. Would you like to wear your coat or your sweater?” And then when children say, “Neither one.” You say, “Honey, that’s not an option. Would you like your coat or your sweater?” Always asking with a smile!
For more Parenting Solutions by Dr. Paula visit www.CheerfulNoise.com
Helping Women Live Joyful Lives,
Paula Fellingham
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